Lifting the 10,000 lb Elephant of Racism

Dear Non-POC (Person of Color) Friend,

I’m sure that the times we are in feel strange to you right now. I get it. I’m there, too. For me, it’s like a dirty bandage has been snatched off, and all of the nasty stuff festering underneath has suddenly been exposed.

Many of you have been taking steps to dig deeply into your hearts and history to figure out where you fit in the #BlackLivesMatter conversation. You are probably experiencing your own Matrix moment because you were brave enough to choose the red pill, and now you see how deep the rabbit hole really goes.

I recognize that for some of you, this is not your first time lending your voice to the racial injustice conversation. You’ve been trying to stand in the gap for quite some time. Perhaps your white parents linked arms with black women and men to march in the Civil Rights protests in the ’60s, or maybe the roots of compassion run deeper in your family, and supporting the rights of all people began earlier.

For others, this may be your first time speaking out. You’re not quite sure what to say, so you stumble a bit. But, since this cause has seared your heart, you are willing to risk getting it wrong so that the world will know that you are taking a stand.

If you’ve been raising your voice on behalf of black people despite the opposition of those who look like you, I want to say thank you. I see you and appreciate you. We all want to be acknowledged. So, I want you to know that I hear you, and I am listening.

Understand, sometimes it’s hard to see the good when the bad is a 10,000 lb elephant sitting on your chest. We hope that the good is out there somewhere, but the weight of the elephant is suffocating, so we close our eyes and resign ourselves to what we believe is the inevitable — that we will eventually be crushed.

It’s only when we reach around in that darkness and discover that others are trying to push the weight off on our behalf, that the load begins to shift.

Over the last couple of weeks, hearing your voices, listening to your outrage, reading your threads, and seeing you joining in the fight has made that weight a little lighter.

There’s a lot of noise right now, but eventually, that will dissipate. Hashtags will stop trending, and black lives (and other lives of color) will once again be at the mercy of the majority. The only guarantee for any of us (no matter what color) is that the aftermath will leave us with our raw feelings and asking ourselves what’s next.

Calling foul against racial injustice carries a price tag. I hope the thoughts below will support your journey ahead.

1. What goes up, must come down. While you’ve likely embraced the swell of momentum as people and companies have come together to raise their voices in unison against racism, this balloon will deflate. It always does. At this point, we’re just not sure by how much.
2. By association, you are going to come across family, friends, clients, and followers who vehemently disagree with your choices to support the cause for racial justice. When you are alone with your thoughts, this is going to hurt. You may feel betrayed and wonder how something that innately you know is right can stir up so much hate and bitterness in others. It will be an open-handed slap against your judgment and will put you in the same boat with others who are fighting the same battle.
3. Choosing to hang out on this side of the conversation is a long way from the shore and swimming back to “safety” (the status quo) will no longer be an option for you, so choose your side wisely.
4. Resentment can be a hidden by-product of change. There have been many companies that have pledged to support POC organizations and increase the percentage of black hires in their companies. While anyone “worth their salt” doesn’t like a handout, it feels especially redeeming to have others single you out when you’ve been ignored for so long and say, “Hey, we see you and invite you to sit at our table, too.”
5. “Hiring with intent” will leave some non-POC’s feeling like they’ve been passed over. They’ll call it reverse racism and say it’s not fair when a person is hired based on their race. They will be right. It’s not fair, and because many of us have experienced this, we can empathize with that complaint; however, creating balance when everything has been one-sided for so long means that we have to start somewhere.
6. If a company is willing to create a landscape that looks more like the melting pot of the country that we live in, then let’s encourage that shift. There may be some growing pains initially, but the change is necessary.
7. If you are white, and have worked and studied hard to get a great job and then that coveted position is given to a person of color, your default assumption might be to conclude that their skin color is the “only” reason that they got the job. This thinking only reinforces the stereotype that people of color are inferior to our white counterparts and can only be given good jobs based on a handout rather than our own merit. I encourage you to rewire your default system.
8. Resentment can sneak up on you, and the very thing that you are fighting for can suddenly become your enemy when you are personally affected. We all have disappointments. Don’t allow frustrations with the process to turn into false narratives. Now is the time, more than ever, to have each other’s backs. It goes both ways.
9. When companies embrace a larger and more diverse pool, we sharpen each other and, in turn, make those companies stronger.
10. There are many valleys of racism that need to be reseeded with love, respect, and compassion, but it’s a long way down, and not many are willing to take the full plunge. For now, a bridge will do. At least from that vantage point, we can all see what’s going on and try to figure this thing out together.

My friend, please understand that as people of color, racism is woven into our DNA, so we can’t just walk away from it as you can. Until the color stigma is eradicated, I will always wonder if a white person sees my brown skin before they notice my smile. Being a person of color is more than a hue on the color spectrum. I was born into my “blackness” and everything that it represents societally.

To those who have taken the beautiful color wheel of humanity and weaponized it, I have no words.

To my friends who have been switching out their cracked lenses for new ones, I hope you continue to enjoy the view.